Monday Moods and Mad Men

August 22,2016.


I have just come from lunch, where my stomach has involuntarily been subjected to burnt and undercooked ‘pilau’ and a labyrinthine mixture of french beans, carrots, peas and potatoes. It pains me to the core of my bone marrow, that I have had to pay the Mama from the land of chegets (jackets) and kuthogana, 200 shillings for that misdemeanor of a meal.


While I would like very much to sulk over the fact that that money could have bought me about ten nice (much needed) tops at Gikomba, there is already a giant pile of things fueling my Monday mood swings, so I’d rather not. I simple decide that the sun will have to turn blue before I go back there to eat.


On my way back to the office I have to cross some road, and as I do, some man that must have come straight from the devil’s ass, resolves that his life will crumble if he doesn’t exercise his asininity on me.

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Taking Stock: First Third of 2016

I have cockroach memory. Consequently, this post is gonna be very difficult for me to write because I really do not remember with precision much of the events that have happened, and that includes some of the major happenings in my life, regrettably. I thought of keeping a diary; matter of fact, I used to be nun-faithful to one, till my brother got hold of it and read it out to the entire household, using just the right tonal variations, intonations and facial expressions detailing how terrible my first kiss was, first because the (lucky) boy’s mouth had the stench of ten dumpsters combined, it was as if an animal crawled up and died in there. Secondly, by the time we were done kissing he was done licking my face, I felt like an ice cream cone in the hands of a toddler-annoyingly wet(on the face), uncomfortably sticky and feeling just about ready to melt into oblivion. Everybody laughed hard, I smirked the life out of my brother’s head but I swore never to document anything of sentimental value that happened to me since. I digress.

Luckily, unlike me, the internet never forgets, so I might as well document my shit here . That way, when someone asks me something that judging from the look he/she is giving me I ought to obviously remember, I will just refer here. Shall we?

Looking: For Beyoncé’s LEMONADE. I seem to be the only one that is yet to have a listen or a watch. Help me out here guys…I also want to throw shade and act like I know all the inns and outs of Queen Bey’s life when I make comments on every one else’s posts about the entire drama.

Feeling: All over the place. There are times when i have had long streaks of joy and everything was perfect. There are also times when I felt like the Devil had made my life his playground, jumping up and down, kicking me this way and that as he pleased. But most of all i feel grateful to God to be alive. He triumphs over all.

Wondering: Why the butt crack only feels itchy when you are in public. Consequently you start walking like a squirrel just ran up your legs and is tickling your crotch; all because Continue reading