I walked into a KFC in town on Good Friday,expecting to have the time of my life slurping on their to-die for ice cream. Seriously, their ice cream is out of this world. Isn’t any ice cream? They say you can’t buy happiness but you can buy ice cream and that’s pretty much the same thing 🙂 Anyway,fuck the ice cream today. What, or rather, who i ran into was ten thousand times better.
I was going up the entry stairs, taste buds tingly and all, and the first face i saw was of this guy who a couple of days ago had professed his undying, unwavering, undiluted and totally unshakable love for me, typical The Notebook style. He actually spent an hour’s worth airtime (and wasted a whole hour of my very busy life. An hour equals an episode of Empire plus breaks to snack and to go pee.Yes people. I have found a new series to spoil my eyes with and waste my life on. Only because the latest episode of Scandal is yet to be released.) passionately explaining to me how his life would disintegrate World War Z style if I rejected his relationship proposal.
Seeing as i had just realized that the guy I thought I had a serious thing with, was an idiotic scheming selfish imbecile of a tick, who only wanted me for tiny little errands that he had no time to do or was simply to proud to do, I had told dear Romeo that I just wasn’t ready to date, not just him, but any testosterone-bearing human.
The guy then went on a promising spree, swearing almost on the existence of the sun and the entire Milky Way that he didn’t care, and that he was in no rush to settle because I was the only one he wanted. Said he’d wait for me, and the only thing that would deter his wait would be the return of Jesus himself, and even then, he said he would hold my hand and walk through the Pearly gates of Heaven, or into the fiery furnace of hell, all depending on the way we had played out our lives. My efforts to tell him that it wasn’t necessary that he does so, were met with a grandeur speech, inclusive of statements like “I’ll wait for you Laura, I promise.” and “I ALWAYS keep my word” and “Please trust me.” LOL. Dude would have given Lupita a run for her Oscar.
Long story short, he was seated with some girl right at the table by the stairs, sipping his Krushers and fiddling playfully with her hair. He was also looking deep into her eyes, probably telling her that he does not need to look at the sky at night because the beautiful stars are right there in her eyes. Talking of eyes, mine and his met for a split second before I looked away and burst into a series of fits of laughter, almost tripping on the last stair.
Oh men. Most are all the same. All mouth and trousers and sometimes, not even trousers.