Things Never To Say To A Writer, Especially THIS Writer

“Oh, you are a writer?! I hope you won’t write about me.”

If I hear this statement from one more person my ears will literally bleed. No i will not write about you. You know why? Because I know for a fact that you DO want me to write about you if you are making such (dumb) remarks, you just don’t know how to directly ask me to do it. Two, you are probably not interesting enough to be written about, and I will not subject my loyal readers to your boring self. You are the type that cannot color outside the margins. The kind that asks for ketchup dip for your fries instead of splashing the damn thing all over your plate like a fun person. The type that eats pizza with a fork Β and knife. The type that is too conventional to do anything random and fun and worth writing about. So no, I will not write about you. Not now, not ever. You can unclench your sphincter muscles now.

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Person X: What do you do? Continue reading